25
Jul
10

Plain, Simple Frickin’ English

So my wife and I are doing the whole Weight Watcher’s diet thing. Been okay so far. I get 40 points a day, the wife gets 21. Apparently men lose weight faster than women, which I was unaware of. But we’ve started it; this is day one. La dia prima.

Which means I made a stop by Dairy Queen tonight. Hey, I still had the available points, so why not?  I was at B&N first checking out some books. So many books, so little time.

I pulled up to the Dairy Queen drive up and I hear, “Thank you for coming to Dairy Queen, may I take your order?” Normal thing to hear when pulling up to a drive-thru, right?  So I say, “Yeah, I’ll take a medium Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard.” The guy replies, “Okay, order whenever you’re ready… Oh… Your total is $4.10, please pull around.” Moron.

So I sit there at the window and notice they have a tip cup in the window. When the hell did fast food joints think they were worthy of tipping? At a restaurant and I have a waiter, sure, I’ll tip. But at Dairy Queen??? Eff that for sure.

Anyway, the Future of America comes to the window with my Blizzard. He asks, “Would you like a lid for your Blizzard?” To which I reply, “Yes, please.” He hands me the Blizzard, “Have a good night.” and shuts the drive-thru window. WTF?

I was pretty sure that if you could speak the English language, you would have a pretty good grasp on comprehending it. Apparently not. Whatever verbal diarrhea this guy hears, it certainly isn’t English. Or maybe it’s opposite day, who knows?

I should have confused the Future of America and asked him if he took out of state cash. I probably would have been arrested for unforeseen manslaughter. A question like that would have caused the Future of America to stroke out. Oy.

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